So last night began the first round of Season 6 of “American Idol” in which fans get to vote contestants off the Hollywood island. The 12 guys went first, with the theme of the night being safety. That’s right, almost every dude who sang last night did some sappy ballad that didn’t require dance moves, vocal acrobatics or much flair. And it wasn’t a very good strategy, because the judges called them out on it.
In particular, Simon Cowell was his usual sneering self, but even Randy Jackson told at least one contestant, “Dude, it was bad.” And he didn’t mean the kind of bad that is short for “badass.” He meant “really bad.”

Also, it’s the first we’ve seen of the judges and Seacrest in a live atmosphere this season. Paula is still drunk and she’s still bickering with Simon, and Ryan is back to being a tool. I mean, dude wasn’t so annoying during the taped audition shows, but he can’t hide from his own ego for long. Last night (and he does this every season) he suggested that Simon should give the contestants some positive reinforcement instead of being so negative. Um, dude, he’s not going to change and neitheris your plastic self. He’s going to tell it like it is instead of sugar-coating things, and well he should.

So here are my choices for the good, the bad and the in-between from Round 1…..

THE GOOD

I’m partial to Brandon Rogers, because I know he’s got enormous potential on this show, but last night he was a bit off his game when he did Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You.” Still, I think he was good enough to be in the top four. Simon suggested that Brandon played it safe, though at the end of the night you’d have to think it wasn’t the safest performance by any means.

Chris Richardson, the dude who looks and dances like Justin Timberlake, was a bit pitchy but very entertaining. His version of Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Wanna Be” was a bit thin vocally, but like Paula said, it was a cool arrangement of the song. His flair is definitely going to keep him around for a while.

Chubby kid Chris Sligh took more of a gamble than most, doing the very current “Typical” by MuteMath. He made a statement with this song, because the lyrics imply something to the effect of not being typical, and he made himself stand out from the field. Though Simon suggested it was like watching a student union performance, I think it was way better. This kid has game.

Phil Stacey, the dude who missed the birth of his daughter during the auditions, went last and did Edwin McCain’s “Could Not Ask For More.” It started off pretty weak, but when ol’ Phil launched into the chorus he established that he is one of the best male singers in this competition.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Rudy Cardenas kicked things off last night. Dude looked like a Mexican Clay Aiken and had a weird song choice in Edgar Winter’s “Free Ride.” He even threw in a few “Woohs” ala Taylor Hicks. Randy called it “corny” and I completely agree. Simon said it wasn’t distinctive and Paula said it was “fantastic” through her drunken haze. It was just okay.

Blake Lewis, aka Captain Beat Box, did a Keane song which was a cool choice, but it was still kind of safe and pitchy. Simon said it wasn’t his best vocal, but all of the judges commended him on doing a song in which his beat-boxing took a back seat to his vocals. Still, dude could have stepped things up just a bit.

Jared Cotter did Brian McKnight’s “One” and it wasn’t bad but was kind of boring and safe. Are you sensing a theme here? I wasn’t kidding. But Jared is good enough to hang around a few weeks.

A.J., who is in his fifth attempt at becoming the next Idol, is further along than he ever has been. Simon thought A.J. gave a “theme park performance” and Randy called it “nothing new.” That’s about it…the kid can sing but he didn’t blow anyone away last night.

THE BAD

America, meet Sundance Head. America, watch Sundance Head look twice his age trying to sing the Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin.” America, prepare to put Sundance Head in the bottom 3. And I laugh every time they show that clip of Simon saying that Sundance looked like he’d been “boiled” after one audition. I mean, his head looks like a giant tomato when emoting.

Paul Kim did Wham’s “Careless Whisper,” and he did it like every other performance he has put on so far–barefoot. It was like watching Fred Flintstone attempt a wussy version of an already wussy song.
Simon suggested it was “ordinary” and that Kim should really put some shoes on. Ryan tried to show his support by taking his shoes off, but said something about his own recent pedicure. Um, okay. Hey Ryan, it took exactly one night of seeing you in live action to declare you an idiot. Way to go.

Nick Pedro attempted Richard Marx’ “Now and Forever” and even Paula said it was a bad song choice. Randy thought it was boring and pitchy, but somehow Simon thought it was pretty good. I have to say I agree with Paula and Randy on this one, but I’m not sure Nick will wind up in the bottom 3.

Sunjaya did Stevie Wonder’s “Something About Your Love,” a song that contains the lyrics “I Don’t Want to Bore You.” That, my friend, was a risk right there. But it didn’t help that you had exactly zero charisma and did just okay on a song that was way out of your league. I mean, this is Stevie Freaking Wonder you attempted. Paula even said he had no personality last night, but everyone knows this kid can do better. Whether or not he gets another chance remains to be seen.

So there you go…my bottom three? Sundance, Sunjaya and Paul. And it’s really close between Sundance and Sunjaya, but I’m going with Sundance.

Tonight the ladies try to impress us.

Hey, a random observation…..there were zero country songs last night. Will that trend continue tonight? Tune in and find out…..