311 beats up Scott Stapp, lives out the dream of music critics everywhere

Man, news reports don’t get any sweeter than this. Former Creed singer Scott Stapp and 311 threw down in a posh Baltimore hotel. The reports that are coming in vary somewhat, but this is what we have so far:

• Stapp entered the hotel bar, stepped in front of the TV that members of 311 were watching, and said, “311, I am ready to fight.” (They had met earlier in the day, although nothing happened in their first encounter.) 311 weren’t interested, and Stapp went to the bar and started drinking.

• Stapp then made a crude remark to the wife of 311 member SA Martinez. While the members of 311 then claim that Stapp sucker punched drummer Chad Sexton, who was at the bar with Mrs. Martinez, there are also reports that SA Martinez threw the first punch and had to be forcibly removed from using Stapp’s tongue to paint his boat.

So let’s recap: Here’s a guy who poses Jesus style on his album covers, then picks fights in bars and hits on married women. Never mind Stapp not being a good Christian, or singer, or lyricist; Stapp isn’t even a good drunk. Can’t he just be happy, a little sloppy and slur his speech like the rest of us? On top of that, it doesn’t sound like he’s much of a fighter, either.

In one song on Stapp’s (awful) new album, The Great Divide, he bellows, “I do not have to justify the way I live my life,” to which I say: you are getting rich off the money of good hearted people who find comfort and peace in your songs about God, and you are then spending that money getting drunk in a bar and coveting thy neighbor’s wife. So yeah, dude, you kinda do have to justify the way you live your life. But not to me, though. I never thought very much of you before this. 311, on the other hand, are instantly and permanently in my cool book.

  

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